


Maybe In Another Life

by ClearSkyBlue



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: I'm Kiho af, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, There's a lot of Showki too though, Unrequited Love, bc they're not prominent enough, just a warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 10:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13211952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClearSkyBlue/pseuds/ClearSkyBlue
Summary: "Maybe later, maybe if we had met first, maybe in another time, in another life.""You're so cruel, Kihyun."In which Hoseok was in love with his best friend's boyfriend.





	Maybe In Another Life

Hoseok met Hyunwoo the first day of moving in to the college dorms. Hoseok had just settled in and chosen his bed and where his things were going to go and was planning on how to tell his roommate that he was going to be in charge when Minhyuk bursted in through the door with Hyunwoo trailing behind him exclaiming how Hyunwoo was going to be his new roommate. 

It was surreal almost, having Minhyuk introduce himself as Hyunwoo’s best friend since high school, then introducing Hyunwoo himself, then stating Hyunwoo’s likes and dislikes, then lamenting how something must have happened with the system because both Hyunwoo and Minhyuk had requested that they were to be roomed together and yet they were not. Hoseok could barely keep up, and apparently Hyunwoo could not either, but simply because he was not allowed to as Minhyuk interrupted him when he tried to speak for himself. 

After that long-winded introduction, Minhyuk bid them farewell and talked about how he now had to see who his own roommate was going to be. A few seconds after Minhyuk left, Hyunwoo had let out a breath he was holding and simply muttered, “and that’s why I specifically requested not to be roomed with him.” 

Hoseok laughed and found himself thanking whatever was on his side for giving him a seemingly okay roommate and not Minhyuk. 

They bonded then over their mutual love for music and the gym. Hyunwoo was able to convince Hoseok to join the kendo club, so they bonded over that, too. Hoseok bonded with Minhyuk during kendo since Minhyuk joined to club because Hyunwoo joined, and Hoseok found out that Minhyuk was not as obnoxious as Hoseok thought he was going to be but he was still pretty over-the-top. Minhyuk was a smiling ray of sunshine that did not rest until everyone he cared for had a smile on their face, too. It was hard not to love him. 

It was Hoseok and Hyunwoo through thick and thin those years of college. They roomed together first and then moved in together as roommates to their first apartment, which was frequently crashed by Minhyuk. They celebrated victories and mourned losses together. Hoseok knew there was a lifelong friendship with Hyunwoo. 

Even after college ended and they got jobs in different places and moved out of their apartment into apartments of their own, they still met up to chat and catch up. They still hanged out whenever they could, and never had Hoseok felt their friendship dwindling. 

Hoseok did not plan on changing that. Nothing could possibly ruin his friendship with Hyunwoo. Nothing and no one. Their friendship could never be at stakes. He thought at least. 

Hoseok remembered meeting Kihyun. He walked next to Hyunwoo into the bar Hoseok was to meet Hyunwoo at, and he was stunning. Hoseok choked on his drink the moment his eyes laid on the other man. Hyunwoo brought Kihyun over to where Hoseok was, and Hoseok desperately hoped he was just a friend of Hyunwoo or a family member or someone who had come to visit for sometime. However, when Hyunwoo introduced him, all of Hoseok’s hopes crashed to the ground and burned. 

“Hoseok, this is Kihyun,” Hyunwoo introduced him, “I’ve told you about him, no?” 

Hoseok’s smile faltered, because oh, that was Kihyun. Yes, Hyunwoo had told him about him. A lot. Kihyun was the guy Hyunwoo had been going out with for the last couple of weeks. Hyunwoo had been wanting to make official with him for sometime now. Hoseok did not know Hyunwoo was bringing him by tonight. 

Kihyun smiled, and Hoseok thought he had the prettiest smile he had ever seen, “hi, Hoseok. Nice to meet you.” 

Hoseok's smile widened, because Kihyun’s voice was also so nice, “nice to me you, too.” 

As Kihyun and Hyunwoo sat down at the bar table Hoseok had been waiting for them at, Hyunwoo spoke, “actually, something I haven’t told you about yet is that,” - he wrapped an arm around Kihyun’s shoulder and Kihyun leaned towards him - “I asked him to be my boyfriend, and he said yes.” He smiled, blushing, because Hyunwoo had always been like that when it came to revealing things like this. 

Hoseok gasped on purpose, because a good friend would be happy for them instead of feeling slightly disappointed. “Oh, really?” He asked, and once Hyunwoo and Kihyun nodded, he shook his head, feigning disbelief, “wow, congratulations. I am really happy for you guys.” The drinks were ordered.

Hoseok learned a lot about Kihyun that day. He learned that Kihyun worked with another friend of Hoseok and Hyunwoo, Hyungwon. Kihyun had met Minhyuk through Hyungwon and thought that he must meet Hyunwoo at all costs. And now here they were, and all Hoseok could think of was that of course it was Minhyuk’s bright idea to introduce Hyunwoo and Kihyun. That and Kihyun’s laugh being so cute and him looking so amazing under lights of the bar and Hoseok had to stop paying attention to him. When no one was paying attention to him, Hoseok gently slapped his face and took a swing of his drink. He should not be thinking like this. He should not be focusing on his best friend’s boyfriend, on his wide smile and the way his eyes turned into crescent moons when he smiles, on the way he threw his head back and laughed with his entire body, on the beauty marks all over his face. Yes, no, he should not. It did not mean anything that he focused on them. This was the first time he met Kihyun. He was bound to focus on the good features of the other man. Hoseok smiled, joining the conversation again. This was alright. 

And at first, he really did think it was alright. So what? He found his best friend's new boyfriend attractive. That only meant that his best friend had a good taste in men as he should. Hoseok would be over his feeling in no time. 

But he was not. 

Days, weeks, months passed after that first meeting and Hyunwoo would bring Kihyun around more often, and as Hoseok got used to Kihyun's personality, to his antics and his quirks and his snark and his wonderful everything, he realized he was falling deeper and deeper for the younger man. 

In no time, he was completely smitten, completely whipped. 

And it sucked, because Hoseok had been told that he wore his feelings on his sleeves. When he liked someone, everyone knew before he even knew himself. He was terrified Kihyun had picked up on his giant crush on him and even more terrified that Hyunwoo might have (though he did doubt Hyunwoo a little bit because the guy could be a bit oblivious when it came to anything romantic. He was normally the second to last to know if Hoseok had feelings for someone, so it was not too worrying but still). 

It was hard. It was so hard. Hoseok had never tried so hard to control his face as much as he did when he was around Hyunwoo and Kihyun. He could not let them or anyone else (if there was anyone else with them) realize that he normally stared at Kihyun far too much and far too fondly.

But of course, all of his hard work went to waste because of the man, the myth, the legend: Lee Minhyuk. 

Minhyuk and Hyungwon had hosted everyone over for a dinner. The dinner was thankfully takeout because, even though they would never admit it themselves, Minhyuk and Hyungwon were not the best cooks, to put it lightly. The dinner had gone great. The five of them shared jokes, caught up, and asked Hoseok why the hell he was still single. The usual. The only difference was that Hyunwoo came in with the big news that he was able to get that promotion in his job that he had been working so hard towards. Everyone clapped and celebrated. Minhyuk opened a bottle of champagne, Kihyun kissed Hyunwoo, and Hoseok’s heart constricted uncomfortably, but it was all good and expected. 

Overall, it was nice talking to friends about mundane things. All of them were leading different lives with different schedules, so it was nice when they all found time to get together and hang out and make fun of each other. 

“So, Hoseok,” Minhyuk turned to Hoseok after finishing a conversation topic. Hoseok raised a brow towards him. “How's songwriting going?”

Hoseok shrugged, “it's going fine, I guess.”

Kihyun looked at him in surprise, “you write songs?”

Hoseok looked down. He let out a small laugh to let out all the weird feelings that came with Kihyun asking things about him, and then he looked back up with a serious face. He learned how to control his face quite well around Kihyun. He hoped he was getting a hold of controlling his capillaries, too. He felt a blush setting in. “Only as a hobby, really,” he shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about it. 

Minhyuk laughed, hitting Hoseok’s shoulder multiple times, “only as a hobby, he says.” Minhyuk pointed at Hoseok, “this man right here is pretty much a ghost writer, but like, for songs. A ghost songwriter - ghost producer too?” He knitted his eyebrows together, trying to think, before giving up and shrugging. “Anyways, he's written for big name companies many times before.”

“Really?” Kihyun seemed impress. Hoseok smiled at him and nodded. “What songs?” Kihyun eagerly asked. 

Hoseok put a finger on his lips, “I am bound by contract to never say what songs I’ve produced.”

Minhyuk smirked, “I can say that at least one of them has become very popular.”

“What?” Hyunwoo looked between Hoseok and Minhyuk, “you will never tell me, but you tell Minhyuk, who is more likely to spill the beans that I ever will be.” 

“I didn’t tell Minhyuk,” Hoseok shook his head, “he was snooping through my files once. Heard one of the songs that I was able to sell. Called me after he heard it on the radio screaming that they had stole it from me.”

“He hadn’t even told me he ghost wrote songs until that moment,” Minhyuk sighed dramatically. “I felt so betrayed,” he blinked twice to the ceiling, “and then extremely threatened.” 

“I knew you would brag about it to others,” Hoseok laughed a little, remembering what he told Minhyuk a few months ago to keep him quiet, “I had to keep you quiet. I’m under contract.”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes, “whatever. Anyways, you didn’t convince me when you said it was going fine. How’s songwriting going?”

Hoseok sighed, looking down. He shrugged, “it’s going alright.” He looked at Minhyuk, who had a skeptic eyebrow raised. Hoseok succumbed to tell the truth, “I’m in a bit of a stump right now.”

“Why’s that?” Kihyun asked, sounding concerned.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok answered truthfully, looking at Kihyun. “The songs aren’t sounding like I want them to sound, but at the same time, I can’t really hear what’s wrong either or what it needs, so I am stuck,” he sighed.

“Don’t you have anyone to help you with them?” Kihyun asked him. 

“Cons, though a pro too, of independent songwriting and producing,” Hoseok said, “you’re typically on your own for most of the process.” 

“Ah, I see,” Kihyun slowly nodded, “must be hard then…”

Hoseok nodded, “sometimes, I think I need to step back a little in what I do. Maybe listening to my own voice in the song is stopping me. Maybe,” he paused for a second, looking for the words, “something, anything, would help, but I don't know…” He shook his head sadly. 

Everyone nodded, seemingly in understanding. It helped Hoseok feel a bit better. 

Hyunwoo put his arm around Kihyun, “Kihyun sings. Maybe he can help.”

Kihyun looked at Hyunwoo with wide eyes and waved him off, “I couldn’t. I haven’t sang in two years.”

“You sing?” Hoseok asked. He had no clue, but it was not surprising. A voice that beautiful should also sing beautifully. 

“I participated in my university’s choir. It was nothing big,” Kihyun said dismissively. 

“You still sing all the time,” Hyunwoo said. “You have a nice voice. You can do it.”

“I’m no professional,” Kihyun looked down, almost embarrassed. 

“You don’t have to be,” Hoseok told him. He was not sure why he really said that. Did he want to hear Kihyun’s singing voice? Yes, he did, and badly now that he knew Kihyun sang, but would it really be a good idea? Hoseok did not know, but he hoped it was. “Really, I need all the help that I can get, and I don’t mind. If you don’t want to though, that’s fine, too.” Disappointing, but fine. 

Kihyun looked at him, “really?” Hoseok nodded, and Kihyun nodded back, “I don’t really mind either then. I wouldn’t mind helping you at all.” Hoseok smiled, so, so happily, because he might actually be able to hear Kihyun’s voice soon. “You have my number then. Text me later so we can set up a date,” Kihyun said. 

Hoseok nodded eagerly, “I normally work weekend nights at a studio. We can find a time around there sometime.”

“Alright,” Kihyun smiled. 

“Ooh, Kihyun’s going to be singing Hoseok’s song! What a dream,” Minhyuk said excitedly. “Record and let me hear then.” 

“We’ll see,” Hoseok patted Minhyuk’s back. 

“I used to go to Kihyun’s performances back in college. You’re in for a treat, Hoseok,” Hyungwon finally said something. He was sitting on one of the ends of the couch, trying hard to not fall asleep. It was late, so it was understandable that he was not speaking much. 

Hyunwoo agreed, “even his random singing at times is amazing. Ah, I would love to hear him in an actually recording session. Can I be invited to when you go to help Hoseok?”

“Of course, you can,” Kihyun patted Hyunwoo’s knee, and Hoseok’s heart constricted again. 

He should have expected that wherever Kihyun went, Hyunwoo could go, too. “Yes, of course,” he said, trying to sound unaffected by it. 

The topic ended there and moved on to a different topic. When the night became its darkest, Hyunwoo announced that it was late so Kihyun and him were leaving. They hugged everyone goodbye, and Hoseok might have hugged Kihyun just a tad tighter than a normal friend would have and a second too long. Kihyun did not seem to notice as he broke the hug only to put his hands on Hoseok’s upper arms. 

Actions like that left Hoseok breathless. 

“Remember to text me so that we can set up something,” Kihyun said sternly and it took a second for Hoseok to realize that he was talking about the song-thingy-whatever. Hoseok was not thinking straight. 

Hoseok nodded quickly. “Yeah,” his voice was too high. 

Again, Kihyun did not react. He dropped his hands, allowing Hoseok to breathe again, and walked back next to Hyunwoo. They both said goodbye for the last time and then left. 

It took a second, maybe two, maybe five, for the silence left behind to be broken. “What the hell was that?” Minhyuk asked. 

Hoseok cleared his throat and turned around to face Minhyuk, “what was what?”

“That,” Minhyuk motioned vaguely at Hoseok’s direction. “How you just acted with Kihyun.”

Hoseok did not respond coherently. He muttered nonsense and hoped it would be enough for Minhyuk to change the topic. Instead, Minhyuk walked towards Hoseok and grabbed his face. The sudden touch shocked Hoseok, making him freeze. “What are you doing?” His voice was distorted because of Minhyuk pushing on his cheeks. 

Minhyuk narrowed his eyes, moving his head as if he was examining Hoseok, “you’re red.” Hoseok gulped, and Minhyuk stared at him for a few more seconds before his eyes widened and he gasped, taking a few steps back, “you like Kihyun!”

Hoseok’s eyes widened, and he shook his head vigorously, denying Minhyuk’s accusation. Though, if his cheeks were red before, they were redder now, completely betraying him. He kept on going however, “no, no, no, no, no, no, I don’t.”

Minhyuk cupped his mouth, “oh, my god, you do like him!” 

“Minhyuk, shut up,” Hoseok said desperately, gritting his teeth. 

As if on queue, Hyungwon came back out from a room he had gone to after Hyunwoo and Kihyun left. “What is Minhyuk yelling about this time?” He asked, heading to the kitchen.

“Oh, my god, Hyungwon, you’ll never guess what I just found out about Hoseok,” Minhyuk almost squealed. 

Hoseok was ready to put a hand on Minhyuk’s mouth to keep him quiet when Hyungwon spoke, “what? That he likes Kihyun?” He asked it so nonchalantly, as if he had known for a while. It left Hoseok with his mouth opened. 

Minhyuk seemed surprised to, “wait, how’d you know?” 

Possibly because you screamed it to the heavens, Hoseok wanted to say. “Changkyun had made a joke about Hoseok liking Kihyun a while ago, and Jooheon laughed at first, but then got serious when he realized that the joke was far too realistic to be a joke, and then he asked Changkyun why’d he say what he said, and Changkyun just said that it seemed like Hoseok liked Kihyun, and Jooheon just looked like he understood the whole universe, and then he asked me about it, and I just said that I didn’t know,” Hyungwon explained, grabbing a bottle of soju. That was the most he had spoken the whole night. 

“When did all this happened?” Minhyuk asked.

“A few weeks back, when I went out drinking with them but you couldn’t come,” Hyungwon said, “but anyways, yeah, I guess they were right.”

Minhyuk turned to Hoseok again, “I just can’t believe it. I never thought Kihyun was your type.” 

“Um…” Hoseok was in between asking why he thought that and keeping on the denial of the allegations. He was also thinking about how he thought he was being so discreet about liking Kihyun, but instead, everyone once again saw through him.

“For real though,” Hyungwon said, “you like the bossy mom type?”

Hoseok shut his mouth for a second. He looked at Minhyuk, “wait, what do you mean?”

Minhyuk shrugged, “you know, the type that does everything and nags and always annoyingly reminds you of stuff even when you don’t need a reminder. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Minhyuk, stop overspending. You have to pay rent tomorrow. Hyungwon, wake up. It’s noon. You haven't opened your eyes since eight last night. You know, that kind of stuff.”

“Well, he just does that, because he cares,” Hoseok explained. He understood why Kihyun was like that. It was sweet. Hoseok smiled thinking about it.

“Oh no, he’s in love. With Kihyun. That’s disgusting. I’m going to the bedroom. Goodnight,” Hyungwon said. Instead, he sat on the couch, nursing his soju. 

“Oh wow, Hoseok,” Minhyuk looked at him with amazement, but that face soon fell, “wait, Kihyun’s with Hyunwoo.”

Hyungwon scoffed, “what? Did you forget that?”

Minhyuk looked at Hyungwon and slowly nodded as he turned back to Hoseok, "holy shit, I was so excited with the prospect of you liking someone that I forgot he's a taken man." Minhyuk gasped, "dude, what the fuck?"

"Hey, relax. I just like him. It's not like -" Hoseok paused. He realized that this was the first time he ever admitted to someone that he liked Kihyun. The confession sat heavy on his heart. Hoseok gulped, saddened as reality was becoming more concrete, “it's not like I was planning on making a move in him or something.”

Everyone stayed quiet, letting Hoseok wallow in his negative emotions. Hoseok appreciated that. “That's good,” Hyungwon nodded. “You shouldn't go after someone that's taken.”

Minhyuk agreed, “that's true.”

Hoseok nodded, looking down, “I know.”

“You know,” Minhyuk chuckled, and they both sat down; Minhyuk on the couch and Hoseok on the chair adjacent to the couch. Hoseok knew that he was going to change the topic. Hoseok was ready for a topic change. “I was actually considering you when I was thinking of who to introduce Kihyun to first. In the end, I had chosen Hyunwoo, but I honestly thought that he needed to get laid soon. Honestly, I never thought they would hit it off so well.”

Hoseok laughed, bitterly and rolled his eyes. He did not care much that Kihyun was introduced to Hyunwoo first. If it had been Hoseok, he would have caught on quickly that Minhyuk was trying to set them up, and he was not really into the whole getting set up thing, so maybe he would not have liked Kihyun as much as he did now. That might have been a good thing though… But wait, Hoseok was instantly attracted to Kihyun the moment he saw him, so maybe Minhyuk introducing them first could have helped a spark start between them. Never mind that, Hoseok shook his head. He did not want to overthink it. 

“I should have introduced you two first now that I think about it,” Minhyuk sighed, “now it’s too late. Hyunwoo got that promotion. He’s gonna be earning bank now. It’s hard to leave a man with that much money.” He sighed again, dreamingly, “tch, I should have sugar daddied him when I had the chance. Dammit.” He snapped his finger in frustration. Hoseok laughed.

Hyungwon, who had been bobbing his head on the couch close to falling asleep, immediately woke up, “hey.” 

“I would have still kept you around, babe,” Minhyuk winked at Hyungwon, “I love you.” Hyungwon scoffed and rolled his eyes. He shook his head and went to stare at his almost empty now soju bottle. He was trying to look offended, maybe jealous, but Hoseok could see the small smile forming on his lips.

“Kihyun wouldn’t stay with Hyunwoo because Hyunwoo has money. He would stay with Hyunwoo because he loves Hyunwoo,” Hoseok said after the little exchange between Minhyuk and Hyungwon. 

Minhyuk stared at him un-amusingly. He shook his head, “nope, you’re a goner. You’re defending him even when he is with someone else. Holy shit, Hoseok.” 

“Well, I am just defending him because he would not do that,” Hoseok explained himself.

“Dude, it was a joke,” Hyungwon cut in, “but no, we get it. You’re in love. You have this strong need to defend your crush at every turn.” Hoseok would argue that he was wrong, but he was right. 

“Aww, this could be so cute,” Minhyuk pitied. “What are you going to do?” 

“Nothing,” Hoseok answered, because he had asked himself that question far too many times. “Kihyun is happy with Hyunwoo, and Hyunwoo is happy with him. I’m not going to get between that. I respect them both too much to do that.” 

“You’re too nice,” Minhyuk placed his hands over his heart, “it almost hurts my heart, but you are right. Good on you, Hoseok. Are you still planning on doing the whole recording thing with Kihyun?”

Hoseok nodded, “of course, he doesn’t mind and neither do I, so there should not be a problem. 

Minhyuk nodded back slowly, “well, I thought that because you liked him and stuff that…” He paused.

“That what?” Hoseok raised a brow, smirking, “that I was gonna make a move on him or something?” Minhyuk stayed quiet. “Of course not, I won’t. I’m not crazy. I’ll just enjoy the time with him. That’s it.”

Minhyuk smiled at him, softly. Hoseok knew it was out of pity. “You go do that, Hoseok,” Minhyuk simply said. 

A few months passed before the whole studio thing could happen. Their schedules could never match, and by the end of three months, Hoseok was sure it would never happen. He tried to be fine with it, but it was hard. He wanted to spend time with Kihyun, but he could not force it either. 

Even now, a few months later, his inspiration and motivation were low. In the past six months or more, he had only finish one song. He sent it out to various companies to see which one was willing to buy it, but no one had answered him back yet. Hoseok must have been losing his touch. There was no other reasonable explanation. It had been two weeks since Hoseok sent the song out and, by now, companies were answering back. No, Hoseok did not want to lose his touch. This was the only thing that kept him sane from his mundane, nine-to-five job, so even with no motivation, he went to the studio he rented out in the weekends. 

Hoseok had been browsing social media instead of working on his songs when Kihyun sent him a text message. 

_‘It’s the weekend, where you spend the night in the studio. Are you there now?’_

Hoseok blinked. The message was highly unexpected, but Hoseok still answered it with a yes.

_‘I can go there now if you want. Give me the address. I’ll go right now.’_

Hoseok gasped softly. His heart rate increased. He excitedly sent the address of the studio and grinned afterwards. 

_‘That’s not too far. I’ll be there in thirty, forty minutes.’_

Hoseok looked around the studio. He was luckily not a messy person, but when he imagined inviting Kihyun over, he imagined himself greeting Kihyun with a lot of food. There was no food here. That was unacceptable, so Hoseok quickly grabbed his jacket and his wallet and headed down to the mart down on the street corner. He had thirty minutes to get anything, so he had to hurry up. 

Hoseok came back to the studio with cola and a lot of snacks. The set up came up short compared to the full course meals of his fantasies, but it was not bad since he did not have much time to set it up. By the time he was done, Kihyun had texted him that he was in front of the building.

Hoseok eagerly went to pick him up and lead him inside, only having to stop before he opened the front door to calm his beating heart. Tonight was going to be a normal night. Hosek needed to remind himself of that. Kihyun was simply coming over to help him with the songs, and that was it. It was a friend doing a friend a favor. It was nothing too important, so Hoseok opened the main door of the building to greet Kihyun…

Only to have his breathing hitch and his body freeze.

Kihyun was looking far too good, far too handsome. A fancy dress shirt, fitted dark jeans, and combed back hair. Hoseok could not even greet him.

“What?” Kihyun smiled, opened his arms wide, clearly showing off, “too much?”

Hoseok gulped before shaking his head, “no, you’re fine. Hey, how are you?” 

“Good,” Kihyun answered as he stepped inside the building. “You?”

Hoseok lead him to the room, “I’m good, too.” He opened the door for Kihyun and Kihyun stepped inside.

His eyes instantly fell on the food, “wow, you have food here, too.”

“I needed to make it up to you for helping me. I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I could do in such a short notice,” Hoseok explained, hoping Kihyun was impressed by it.

Kihyun looked at him and smiled softly, and Hoseok could not take it. Maybe having Kihyun over alone was a bad idea. Hoseok was suffering. “You didn’t have to. This is so nice,” Kihyun went to the coffee table where all the snacks were set up and opened one of the bags of chips. “Thank you, Hoseok. This was in short notice. There was a last minute change of plans and well,” Kihyun looked down at himself, “I didn’t want to waste the effort I put on myself.”

Hoseok laughed, because of course Kihyun would be like that, “what happened, if I may asked?”

Kihyun shrugged, grabbing a fist full of chips and shoving them in his mouth. When he was halfway through chewing, he said, “I was to have dinner with Hyunwoo, but he canceled on me last minute. Again.”

Hoseok needed his eyebrows together. Hyunwoo did not seem like the kind of guy to cancel a date with someone, especially when that someone was Kihyun, and again. “I never thought Hyunwoo was the kind of guy to cancel dates so late.” 

Kihyun shrugged, “it happens more often than you think. Ever since he got that promotion, he is always on-call, so his job can call him at any time and he has to report. It happens so often that he has not really had time for me. I’ve only been able to go out twice with him these past few months. Last time was a month and a half ago. I thought we could go out tonight. I even put in the effort to look good, which I've rarely been doing lately since now I really just expect him to cancel, but,” he sighed and looked down. Hoseok wanted to stop him from speaking because the topic was clearly making Kihyun sad and Hoseok hated to see Kihyun sad, but Kihyun continued speaking, “I guess we couldn’t. I had been waiting for him for thirty minutes at the restaurant before he called and said he couldn’t make it.”

“Damn, what a shitty thing,” it was not the wisest or best words to say, but Hoseok did not know how to respond to that story. 

Kihyun shrugged, “it’s fine. I’m here now. I have chips.” He raised the bag of chips and smiled, snickering. Hoseok’s heart exploded with warmthness at that smile. “Anyways, let’s get on with the songs.”

“Ah, right,” Hoseok nodded. That was the sole reason Kihyun was here. Hoseok had forgotten. Hoseok went to grab his laptop, where all his songs were saved and sat next to Kihyun on the couch by the coffee table. 

Kihyun served himself cola as Hoseok opened the folder where the music files were. “I’ll choose the song whose title calls my attention the most,” Kihyun said as he accepted the laptop from Hoseok. 

Hoseok groaned as he looked over Kihyun’s shoulder at the files, “they all have lame titles though!”

Kihyun moved the laptop away from Hoseok as if Hoseok was cheating and shifted to the other end of the couch, “what are you looking at? I get to decide that.”

Hoseok leaned his head against the couch as he looked at Kihyun, “I hope you do decide on something.”

Kihyun rolled his eyes, “you’re too hard on yourself. It’s you. I’m sure everything you have here is amazing.”

Hoseok looked down and away from Kihyun in hopes that he would not see his cheeks flare up. “Thanks,” he muttered, but Kihyun was already too focused on the songs to answer him. 

Hoseok grabbed a bag of chips and munched on them as he looked at Kihyun. He had his legs up on the couch. His face was scrunched up in concentration, and his eyebrows were furrowed together. He looked adorable to Hoseok and that sucked, because he should not see Kihyun as adorable or attractive in any way, and now he regretting ever inviting Kihyun over. What was he thinking?

“Ooh, this sounds interesting,” Kihyun said, clicking on a song. 

“Which one?” Hoseok asked.

Kihyun shushed and Hoseok heard him clicked the volume up. “Wait, is that you singing?” Kihyun yelled. Hoseok assumed the volume must have been loud. Hoseok nodded, a little embarrassed. “You sing?” Kihyun raised an eyebrow. 

Hoseok laughed, “you’re listening to me now.”

“I didn’t know you sing,” Kihyun smiled, looking back at the laptop screen.

“I didn’t know you sing either,” Hoseok said back. 

Kihyun looked at him for a second before turning back to the laptop, “I didn’t know you were a producer either and a hell of a good one. I’m liking how this sounds.” 

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “You’re just saying that,” he muttered, and Kihyun did not hear him. Hoseok accepted the compliment though. It was easy to accept compliments from Kihyun. 

They stayed quiet for a few more minutes as Kihyun listened to the song. He slowly bobbed his head along to the beat, but his face remained unchanged from his concentration look. Hoseok could not really tell what he was thinking. It was making him nervous. 

Kihyun pressed on the space bar, signalling to Hoseok that he had finished the song. Hoseok took a deep breath, preparing himself for the criticism. 

Kihyun smiled instead, taking away all of Hoseok’s breath. 

“I thought I would be able to help you while listening to the song by saying that I didn’t like that rift or that transition or those sets of notes or whatever, but wow,” Kihyun shook his head, “there’s nothing I do not like. Really, what is it that you find wrong here?” 

Hoseok shrugged, “I honestly don’t know. I’m just not satisfied with any of the songs there.”

Kihyun looked at him and sighed, “alright, let me listen to the song a few more times and then I’ll sing it.”

Hoseok nodded. “alright.” 

Hoseok got up to prepare everything he needed for when Kihyun was ready to sing. He gave Kihyun a sheet with the lyrics, and that was the only time he looked at him since Kihyun started listening to the song again. He would rather keep himself busy in another way that was not staring at Kihyun, even if that meant turning round and round in his desk chair while eating after he was done setting up for Kihyun.

“Okay, done, let’s do this,” Kihyun said after some time had passed. He took off the earphones and stood up. 

Hoseok looked at him. “Okay,” he smiled. “Do you know the warmups?” 

“Of course, I do,” Kihyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I was in my university’s choir. I warmed up on the way here. I should be fine.”

Hoseok shrugged, “you still should again, just in case.” Please, I need a warning for how you sound like, Hoseok thought.

“I’ll do it in the booth then,” Kihyun said, and Hoseok stood up to show him how everything worked. His heart beat in his ear even as he watched Kihyun put on the headphones and give Hoseok a thumbs up. Hoseok smiled and nodded at him. “Give me a second to warm up again,” Kihyun said and Hoseok nodded. Kihyun walked around the booth. He cleared his throat and started his warm up.

Hoseok gulped. He could hear it. This was a bad idea. He was doomed. 

“Alright, I’m done,” Kihyun came back to the mic a minute or so later. “Let’s do this.”

Hoseok took a deep breath, “alright, I’ll turn the music on now.” He started the music. 

Kihyun closed his eyes. He swayed side to side as he felt the music. He adlibbed a note before the song actually started and Hoseok’s breathing hitched again. Hyungwon was right. Hoseok was in for a treat. Kihyun had a beautiful voice, an incredibly beautiful voice. If Hoseok was challenged to differentiate between Kihyun's voice and the voice of the angels, he might not be able to tell the difference. Kihyun sang like the angels. No, he sang better than the angels. Kihyun was the standard angels had to reach if they ever wanted to sing anything. His voice moved Hoseok and trapped him in a cage he did not feel like leaving. High notes stabbed at his heart and low notes rushed his blood throughout his system. It was bad. Hoseok knew he had it bad for Kihyun and hearing him sing just made it so much worse. 

The song came to an end. With his mouth still semi-opened, Hoseok wished it could have continued forever. Kihyun took of his headphones and placed them on the mic before stepping out of the booth. “How was that?” Kihyun asked.

Hoseok looked at him as if he was looking at an angel, “you said this was just a hobby?” Kihyun laughed, nodding. “You’re amazing, Kihyun. Really, incredibly. You sing better that most of the idols I’ve heard sing my songs. No, all of them. You’re amazing!” Maybe Hoseok was being a little biased, but he doubted it. 

Kihyun shook his head, dismissing Hoseok’s comments. Hoseok took note of how Kihyun’s cheeks rose up. “No,” he chuckled awkwardly, “no, there’s no way.”

Hoseok shook his head, scoffing, “sure, if that’s what you want to believe.” He turned to his note and realized that he had not written any. He had been too focused listening to Kihyun sing. 

“I used to train at a company a while back,” Kihyun suddenly said. Hoseok looked at him. Kihyun cleared his throat and looked down, “so…” He shrugged, “that’s probably why.” 

“You trained?” Hoseok asked. There really was a lot that Hoseok did not know about Kihyun. 

“A while back, after high school,” Kihyun said. He placed his hands on his pockets, “realized it wasn’t really for me and left.” He sighed, looking up, “it’s not important now. Maybe I’ll tell you about it later or something.” He walked towards Hoseok. “So did I help?” He asked, changing the topic.

Hoseok blinked, almost forgetting what exactly they had been doing before. Even Kihyun walking towards him was distracting. Hoseok slowly nodded after he understood the question Kihyun asked him, “yeah, you did.” It was small things. Hoseok could remember the things Kihyun did differently that Hoseok liked. He could quickly jot them down and make changes. “You helped a lot,” Hoseok said as he wrote down what he wanted to change about the song. It had to be less than five minutes since Kihyun had stopped singing, and Hoseok was already craving to hear his voice again. “I have so many songs,” Hoseok said and slowly turned to Kihyun again, giving him a begging look, “please, tell me you can help with more of them.” 

Kihyun laughed, “of course, the night’s still young. We have a lot of time. Let’s do this.”

And that was exactly what they did. A few hours passed like minutes, and Hoseok could not believe how Kihyun could instantly make his songs sound so much better, as if there was nothing wrong with them in the first place. 

After they decided to call it a night, they settle on the couch that was on the room with a cup of cola and a bag of chips each. They joked and talked about life. Kihyun held a smile throughout the conversation, and it easily made Hoseok smile back. They were able to keep conversations going effortlessly. Hoseok was glad to know that they at least connected well.

“So you were a trainee?” Hoseok asked.

Kihyun laughed and looked down. “Yeah,” he nodded.

“For how long?” Hoseok drank from his cup.

“Two years,” Kihyun held up two fingers and Hoseok thought it was adorable.

“And what happened?” Hoseok asked. He was not even sure if he was allowed to ask; however, if Kihyun did not want to answer him, he would not, and Hoseok will respect that.

Kihyun looked down at his cup filled with cola. He nursed the drink as he thought of the answer. “I think I might have lost ambition, realized it wasn’t for me, and wanted to do other things. I had been doing the online program of my college part time, so I just left the company after two years and enrolled full time at the college. I still did choir just to see if maybe I could get that ambition and passion back, but…” he motioned to himself, “here I am.” 

Hoseok nodded, “do you regret not continuing the training?”

Kihyun shook his head, “no, not really. Sometimes, I do think about what my life could have been like, but then I remember that I am happy with the life I lead. Think about it. Had I kept my training I would have not met any of you. I wouldn’t have met Hyungwon nor Minhyuk nor Hyunwoo nor you, and I honestly doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.” He chuckled and looked at Hoseok, “I’m happy.” 

Hoseok smiled at him. His heart bursted with fondness, and he hoped it did not show, “I’m glad.” 

Kihyun nodded and looked at his wrist watch. His eyes widened, “oh wow, it’s almost midnight. I should head back home.” He chugged the rest of his cola and put the cup on the coffee table while he stood up. Hoseok stood up with him. Kihyun looked at him, “I had a lot of fun today, Hoseok. Thank you.” 

Hoseok shook his head, “no, thank you, Kihyun. I had fun, too, and you’ve helped me with my songs.”

Kihyun grinned, “that’s great. Am I welcomed to come again any time soon? I’m pretty sure I could with Hyunwoo working the way he is.” Kihyun sighed. 

Hoseok gulped at the way Kihyun said that last sentence, annoyed. He still nodded, “of course.” 

Kihyun stepped forward and gave Hoseok a hug. Kihyun’s hugs always took Hoseok’s breath away and made his heart palpitate. It was hard to just casually hug him back. “Thanks,” he broke away from Hoseok, “I’ll talk to you later then. Goodbye.” He moved to leave the room. 

“Wait,” Hoseok grabbed Kihyun’s arm and smiled, “let me walk you to the entrance at least.” 

Kihyun grinned, looking at Hoseok up and down, “alright then, you gentleman, let’s go.”

Hoseok led Kihyun to the entrance and they said goodbye again with Kihyun giving him one last hug. After that, Hoseok returned to the studio and quickly opened the notebook he wrote all his lyrics in with a renewed inspiration to write a new song. 

Kihyun kept coming back. It was more often than Hoseok thought he would. Once or twice a month, sometimes three. Hoseok loved that he was able to spend time with Kihyun in a setting that he loved so much. Hoseok so willingly shared his music with Kihyun even if he kept it hidden from everyone else. The reason he kept his music hidden from his other friends was because of legal reasons as the contracts he signed every time he sold a song stated that no one should know that he was the actual writer and producer of the song and Hoseok knew that his friends could not keep quiet at all. Kihyun was part of that friend group, but Hoseok wanted to share everything with him. That included his songs, even if it was kind of illegal in the long run.

Kihyun at first came only if Hyunwoo could not make it to one of their dates. As time passed, Kihyun started to come because he wanted to. He came because he wanted to hang out with Hoseok. He came because he wanted to help Hoseok. He came because he wanted to sing for Hoseok, and it made Hoseok’s want to keep his feelings at bay so much more harder to maintain. 

Kihyun sometimes showed up uninvited (as in, he did not tell Hoseok he was coming before he showed up. Kihun was always invited), always pleasantly surprising Hoseok. He knew the office Hoseok used, and he knew what days and what times Hoseok was normally in there, so rarely was there a problem. 

Once, Kihyun bursted through the door, startling Hoseok to the point where he screamed and ruined his notes. Kihyun was playing something on his phone, and he had the biggest smile on his face. When Hoseok was about to ask him what was going on, Kihyun put the phone to his face, “this is your song, isn’t it?” 

Hoseok blinked, trying to focus on the _bright_ screen right in front of his face. Yes, that was the title of a song he had sold a few months again, and yes, that was the beat. Hoseok nodded, and Kihyun’s grin widened, “yes, I knew it!” He celebrated by himself, “I knew I’ve heard it before!”

Hoseok chuckled and stood up from his chair, “it’s one of the first songs you helped me with.” 

Kihyun stopped celebrating and looked at Hoseok, “really?” Hoseok nodded. Kihyun smiled, “ah, it’s good to see my help manifest.” He nodded to himself and _literally_ patted himself on the shoulder. 

Hoseok rolled his eyes and chuckled, “thank you for the help, Kihyun.” 

Kihyun walked to Hoseok to the point where Hoseok could take one tiny step forward and collide with Kihyun. Hoseok’s heart raced. Kihyun held a smug smile on his face. “You’re welcome,” he simply said, and Hoseok gulped, because Kihyun was so close and he looked so attractive (Kihyun always looked attractive to Hoseok so that was besides the point), and Hoseok did want to take that step forward and kiss him. 

Hoseok wanted to kiss Kihyun so badly that it actually hurt. 

Kihyun tilted his head, “Hoseok?”

“Uh?” Hoseok said automatically. His whole focus was on Kihyun.

Kihyun smiled, “you’ve been staring for a while. Snap out of it.” He playfully pushed Hoseok before walking away from him. He walked to the couch and sat on it. “So, what do you want me to sing next? Let’s make a hit song,” Kihyun said. 

Hoseok was left on a daze. He didn’t register Kihyun’s words at first. “What?” He asked. Kihyun rolled his eyes before repeating the question again. “Oh, right,” Hoseok nodded before grabbing his laptop, and it was unfortunately business as usual. 

Being in love with your best friend’s boyfriend was difficult. The freedom to check if that person was interested was not there. Careless yet calculated flirting was a big no-no. There were set boundaries that needed to be respected. Hoseok respected those boundaries. He had no intention of ever crossing the boundaries and walls set up by Kihyun and Hyunwoo’s relationship. It was so hard at times. Hoseok sometimes needed to remind himself that Kihyun sitting near him and resting his hand on his upper arm or thigh or somewhere on his body for an unnecessary period of time while discussing whatever they were discussing was just Kihyun being Kihyun and nothing else. Kihyun was happy with Hyunwoo, and Hoseok had no right to get in between that. 

Hoseok sighed as he set down his drink on the bar counter. Thinking about Kihyun was now an almost every hour thing. Hoseok wished he could get used to those thoughts so that he could deal with them more easily, but he would never get used to Kihyun. Instead, he focused on the increased heart beat that came with the thought of Kihyun. He honestly hoped that increase was not a heart problem in disguise, but it might as well be. Having a heart disease was better than dealing with his crush. His heart yearned and hurt for Kihyun. 

“Are you doing well, sir?” the bartender asked, probably because it was rare to see someone drinking alone at this bar.

Hoseok nodded, with a forced smile on his face, “yes, of course, thank you.” The bartender nodded and scurried off to serve other clients. 

Hoseok looked down on his drink. He thought that taking a little bit of alcohol would soothe his body and numb the thought of Kihyun. It was not helping. Kihyun still took center stage in his mind and there was no one or nothing that could escort him out. 

“Hoseok?”

Hoseok needed to get a grip. Yes, Kihyun was front and center in his thoughts, but he could not be so etched out in there that Hoseok could hear him clear as day.

“Hey, Hoseok!”

And then, Hoseok was grabbed by the shoulder and made to face where the voice was coming from. Oh, that was Kihyun. Kihyun was here. Wait, Kihyun was here!

Hoseok’s eyes widened, “Kihyun? What are you doing here?” What a surprise. Pleasant or unpleasant? Hoseok did not know yet. 

Kihyun smiled and moved to the side where he ended up sitting on the barstool next to Hoseok. Coming behind Kihyun was Hyunwoo. 

Okay, so it should be a pleasant surprise, but it felt kind of unpleasant. 

Hoseok smiled and stood up, “Hyunwoo!” He greeted Hyunwoo with a hug once Hyunwoo was close enough. “What a nice surprise! I have not seen you in a long time.” 

“It’s nice to see you, too,” Hyunwoo patted Hoseok’s back and then broke the hug. He smiled sadly and shrugged, “work has been cutting my time short, so I barely have time for anything.” 

“Ah,” Hoseok nodded in understanding, as if this was the first time he heard that even though he had been hearing it from Kihyun for a few months now. They both sat down with Kihyun in between them. “So what are you guys doing here?” Hoseok asked again.

“We thought we’d enjoy the night and go out for drinks,” Kihyun explained. He turned to Hyunwoo, “it’s been so long since we’ve been able to do something like this.” 

Hyunwoo agreed, “I missed this. So I thought I’d take him out to the best bar in town first.”

“Hmm,” Hoseok nodded, “well, I hope I don’t ruin your fun.” 

Kihyun quickly shook his head, “no, no, you’re not. You’re a welcomed addition.” Kihyun smiled so sweetly and oh - there went Hoseok’s heart again.

“Yes,” Hyunwoo nodded, “it’s been awhile since we’ve chatted. We need to catch up.” 

Kihyun nodded and called the bartender to serve them drinks. 

Hoseok was not planning on spending the night with Kihyun and Hyunwoo. He planning on enjoying the lonesome company of the surrounding busy people. Hoseok could always leave, but there was no way he would ever do that with Kihyun right next to him, chatting the night away with Hyunwoo and him. This was a much better way of spending the evening, even if jealousy hurt whenever Kihyun and Hyunwoo showed any public display of affection. 

Small talking with his friends was nice. Hyunwoo was enjoying his job. It was everything he had ever wanted and more. Kihyun casually threw comments of his distaste for the job, but Hyunwoo never seemed to catch any of them. Hoseok did, and it took him actual strength to not laugh at them. Hyunwoo did shame the fact that his job took so much time, but he did it in a very dismissive way, as if he was unaware of how it affected the closest people around him. Was he even aware? Considering he never even registered any of Kihyun’s comments, maybe.

The topics kept changing and changing, and soon, they were on the topic of Hoseok’s songs. 

“Kihyunnie helped you with songs a while back, didn't he?” Hyunwoo asked. “How did that go?”

“It went well,” Hoseok smiled and rested his head on his hands, “I appreciated his help a lot.” From the first time to the last time he visited less than a week ago. Hyunwoo talked like Kihyun only went once a while back. Hoseok wondered if he knew that it was not just once. He should know. There was no way Kihyun would keep that hidden from him. 

Kihyun laughed as he turned to look at Hoseok. “He doesn't know I kept coming back,” Kihyun mouthed. 

“Oh?” Hoseok mouthed back, eyes widening in surprise. 

Hyunwoo did not notice that secret exchange. He kept talking about Kihyun. “I don't think I've heard Kihyun sing a song other than singing along to the radio and his muttering singing. Even in those simple moments, he sounds great. I bet that in an actual recording studios, he must sound more than amazing. He must sound spectacular, incredible.” 

Kihyun hid the lower half of his face behind his cup. His lifted, rosy cheeks gave away that he was smiling. “Stop that,” Kihyun playfully hit Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo chuckled and gave Kihyun a short but tight side hug. 

Cute, Hoseok thought as he drowned his entire drink in one gulp to calm the strange feeling in his stomach. 

Hyunwoo looked at Hoseok, “I'd ask if I'd be able to listen to what you recorded with Kihyun, but I know how you are with your music, so…”

Hoseok looked down, “well…” He wanted to say no. Kihyun singing like that, Hoseok wanted to keep that to himself more than anything, but Hyunwoo was Kihyun's beloved boyfriend. He should listen to the recording. Hoseok bet Kihyun would want Hyunwoo to listen to the recording. “I guess I could make an exception…” he shrugged. 

“Really?” Hyunwoo asked, looking at Hoseok with eyes full of hope. Hoseok nodded, muttering a small yeah. 

Kihyun looked at Hoseok with bright eyes. “Oh, that's so nice. We can show Hyunwoo the songs we recorded that one day,” he emphasized one and turned to look at Hyunwoo with a soft look that made Hoseok want to drown another drink, especially when Hyunwoo returned it. He needed to call the bartender. He promised not to drink much today, but these moments are making him want to forget what he just kept witnessing. 

“Yes,” Hyunwoo nodded, keeping his gaze on Kihyun. He put a gentle hand on Kihyun's shoulder, “I’ll set a day where I can go listen to the songs. I pro-” Hyunwoo stopped and looked at the pocket of his jacket. 

Kihyun's face fell and a frown formed in those once smiling lips. 

Hyunwoo looked at Kihyun with guilt written all over his face. 

Kihyun sighed and turned away from Hyunwoo, almost towards Hoseok but not quite really. Hoseok could see that he was brooding.

Hyunwoo sighed and took out his phone. He tapped on it and put it to his ear, covering his other ear with his free hand, “yes, hello?” Hyunwoo nodded and hummed along to what he was told through the phone for a minute or two before putting it down. He looked at Kihyun again with guilt and slowly reached a hand towards him, “Kihyunie…”

“Just go,” Kihyun said harshly and involuntarily, Hoseok hoped. Hyunwoo’s hand stopped before it reached Kihyun's shoulder. “It's fine,” Kihyun said more softly. 

Hyunwoo sighed again as he stood up. He took out his wallet and gave his card to Kihyun. "I'll pay for your drinks, okay?" He kissed Kihyun's temple, and Kihyun leaned to his touch even though the frown still adorned his pretty face. "I'm sorry," Hyunwoo patted Kihyun's cheek, "I promise I'll make it up to you." He looked at Hoseok, “my job called. They need me. Take care of Kihyun. Make sure he gets home safely.” Hoseok nodded in understanding. Kihyun scoffed and muttered something about being able to take care of himself. Hyunwoo then said goodbye to Hoseok and Kihyun in a hurry and left the bar.

Kihyun sighed and raised the credit, "buy whatever drink you want, Hoseok. It's on me."

Hoseok blinked, "but that's Hyunwoo's credit card. He's paying only for yours."

"So he'll think it's for me. Who cares? Let him think I'm an alcoholic or something," Kihyun said and angrily called the bartender over to order another round of the drinks they had been having.

Hoseok looked at him worryingly. Kihyun looked down at the bar. His eyebrows were knitted together. His face crouched up. His hands balled into fists and then relaxed. He was clearly unhappy, very unhappy. Hoseok leaned towards him, "Kihyun, are you okay?"

Kihyun nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," he nodded rapidly without looking at Hoseok, clearly not fine. "It just makes me so mad that -" he stopped and sighed, shaking his head "never mind. I'm fine, Hoseok," he said, just in time for the bartender to bring their drinks.

Kihyun grabbed his glass and drowned the drink. He rested his arms on the bar. “We haven't gone out on a proper date in almost three months, Hoseok,” Kihyun confessed. Hoseok looked at Kihyun intently, surprised by the confession. “I thought this was finally it!” Kihyun looked at Hoseok, “I thought we'd finally have a night out together.” He gulped down the remains of his glass and called the bartender to get him another one. Kihyun sighed, tapping the wooden bar, “he forgot our last date. Said he came home from work and fell asleep the moment his body hit the mattress. I waited in the restaurant for him for two hours. Two!” He raised two fingers at Hoseok. The bartender brought him his drink. 

“Kihyunnie,” Hoseok frowned. He was sad, kind of angry, at the story he was hearing. Hyunwoo had this amazing man by his side, and by what Hoseok was hearing, he was not treating him right. 

“Recently,” Kihyun started again, “we've been talking less and less. Since he got that job… we've been talking… less and less.” He ran a hand through his face and took a swing of alcohol. He had been getting increasingly drunk throughout the night, and it was starting to show. He sniffed and straightened up, taking a deep breath. He relaxed slowly, head falling on Hoseok's right shoulder. Their stools were a bit far apart and cemented to the ground, so it looked slightly awkward. Still, having Kihyun's head on his shoulder stiffened Hoseok. “What do I do, Hoseokkie,” Kihyun muttered. 

Hoseok did not answer, could not answer. He was frozen.

Kihyun shook his head, but it really felt like he was rubbing his face against Hoseok's shoulder, “I don't wanna lose him, Hoseokkie. I love him, but…” He yawned, “I can't keep going on like this. It's come to the point where I don't think he cares for me as much as he used to. He's so busy working. That's all he cares about! Work, work, work!”

The more Kihyun talked, the more his voice rose in volume. He was catching the attention of other patrons. Hoseok raised his right arm and wrapped it around Kihyun's head, resting his hand on Kihyun's cheek. “Come on, Kihyun, don't say that,” Hoseok said softly, facing the top of Kihyun's head. Kihyun shook his head and muttered what Hoseok hoped was nonsense. 

Kihyun stayed like that, not moving but still conscious. Hoseok reached to his drink with his left hand so to not disturb Kihyun and took a small sip of it. It was his second drink of the night and he had been here for two almost three hours. He was driving home. He could not go crazy. The drink was almost empty. He kind of wanted another one, but he knew he should not. 

Kihyun sat up suddenly. He eyed Hoseok's drink intently, and Hoseok did not know what to say. Kihyun looked towards the bar and sloppily raised his hand. “I want two of whatever he's having!” Kihyun pointed at Hoseok with his hand still raised and yelled at the bartender. The bartender simply nodded and got to work.

“Two?” Hoseok asked. That was too much for just Kihyun.

“One for me,” Kihyun put a finger on his chest. “One for you,” Kihyun put of finger on Hoseok’s chest. Hoseok thought Kihyun might have been trying to sound seductive, but maybe that was just Hoseok’s wishful thinking. He decided to ignore it. Kihyun was drunk and playful.

“Oh no, I don't want another drink,” Hoseok shook his head. “Thank you though.”

Kihyun gripped the sides of the barstool and threw his body back. “Relax, Hoseokie,” he leaned into the barstool, “have some fun.” He smiled drunkenly. 

Hoseok rolled his eyes, “maybe you shouldn't drink anymore.”

Kihyun shook his head, letting out a cute sound as he did it, “no.” The bartender placed their drinks in front of them. Kihyun grabbed his, “I want to have fun, and these past few months I haven't had fun unless I'm with you.” He gave Hoseok a sad look and it broke Hoseok’s heart. He did not know Kihyun felt like this. “Cheers,” Kihyun raised his glass and did not wait for Hoseok to raise his before drinking out of his. He made a face afterwards. He looked at Hoseok, “this barely has anything. It's just fruit.”

Hoseok chuckled, “I'm driving. I can't drink too much.”

“Tch,” Kihyun shook his head and raised his glass. “Can I have a shot in this? Two? Three? Four would be great….” He slowly lowered his glass and leaned his head on to the bar. 

The bartender came and grabbed the drink. He looked at Hoseok with a raised eyebrow. Hoseok motioned to add very little to the drink. Kihyun would probably notice if his drink stayed the same, but he would not notice how much would have been added. The bartender nodded and left with the drink.

Kihyun sighed and turned to face Hoseok. He smiled, “I'm glad you are here, Hoseokie.” Hoseok raised a brow as to ask why. Kihyun laughed bitterly and raised himself from the bar, “I was scared.”

Hoseok knitted his eyebrows together, confused, “why?”

“Me and Hyunwoo, Hyunwoo and I, talk less and less. Sometimes, I feel like we’ll easily run out of things to say. With you here, we never ran out of things to say,” Kihyun grinned, “thank you.”

Hoseok gulped and nodded, “yes, you're welcome.”

Kihyun grinned, “ah, yes.” He leaned towards towards Hoseok again, wrapping an arm around Hoseok's arm while also resting his head on his shoulder, “our Hoseokie is so nice.” Hoseok stiffened again. The bartender set Kihyun’s drink down. Kihyun grabbed it, loudly thanking the bartender. He took a gulp of the drink. “Ah, yes, much better!” He smiled.

Hoseok’s heartbeat raced. Kihyun was far too close to him. “Kihyunnie…”

Kihyun looked at him, “what?” He looked over at Hoseok’s abandoned drink on the table. “Come on,” he motioned to it with his own drink, “have some of your fruit juice.”

Hoseok easily complied, grabbing his drink and finishing almost half of the glass. “Hey, Kihyunnie,” he poked Kihyun’s cheek, “don’t you think we’re too close?”

Kihyun sat up a little and looked at Hoseok up and down, seeing how their arms were intertwined. He shook his head, “nope.” He laid his head back on Hoseok’s shoulder, “I’ve been wanting to do this.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened. He wanted to ask what Kihyun meant by that. Instead, he grabbed his glass to drink more. This was becoming a bit too much for him. “Hey, Kihyunnie,” he grabbed Kihyun’s attention again. Kihyun hummed to show that he was listening. “Why…” Hoseok was not even sure if he should ask this question, “why didn't you tell Hyunwoo that you come to my studio almost every weekend?”

Kihyun shook his head and shrugged. Hoseok felt Kihyun’s face on his shoulder morph into a probable frown. “Why should I tell him?” Kihyun asked, almost bitterly. He moved to look at Hoseok. There was a frown on his face, but he changed it to a smirk. “Besides,” he slowly sank back to Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok was kind of getting used to Kihyun’s presence there now. “Don't you think it sounds weird that I'm hanging out with my boyfriend’s best friend whenever my boyfriend ditches me?” 

Hoseok nodded, because it did sound weird. He suddenly thought about what would he do if he was in Hyunwoo’s situation and found out his boyfriend was spending time with his best friend. He might think nothing of it since his boyfriend should be allowed to hang out with whoever he wanted. He might be a little jealous naturally. It could be understandable and even allowed, as long as it did not get to the point where Hoseok impeded his boyfriend hanging out with his friend.

Hyunwoo was different though. Hyunwoo might be completely happy watching Hoseok and Kihyun get along. What was better than his boyfriend and his best friend getting along. He would not see it as a problem. Yes, that was right. It would not be a problem if Hyunwoo found out. Therefore, Hoseok should not stop hanging out with Kihyun alone. He did not want to stop hanging out with Kihyun.

Kihyun finished his glass and ordered another one. Hoseok briefly thought of stopping him, but with alcohol slowing filling his system and Kihyun’s head still on his shoulder, that thought did not last long.

The night went on. Kihyun did not stop ordering drinks for Hoseok, but Hoseok made sure to tell the bartender to change his for a water. Hoseok wanted to drink. He could not possibly handle Kihyun like this sober any longer, but he came here in his car, and he had to drive home. Curses. Plus, he did not trust drunk him to keep his hands to himself around Kihyun. 

The more Kihyun drank, the more touchy he became with Hoseok. Hoseok tried to ward him off, but if he was honest to himself, he did not try too hard. He quite enjoyed this side of Kihyun, too. He enjoyed Kihyun's warm hand against his arm or his thigh. He enjoyed Kihyun's smiling cutely to get a reaction out of him, and Kihyun always got a reaction. 

Kihyun also became quite talkative when drunk. By talkative, Hoseok went gossipy. It was interesting. Hoseok never thought he would enjoy a timed twenty minute rant about how it did not make sense that Hyungwon would willingly choose to be with Minhyuk because Minhyuk was messy and loud and everything Kihyun did not want in a partner. Sure, everything was enjoyable to Hoseok if Kihyun talked about it. That was the thing about being completely smitten with someone. 

Hoseok only really started to get uncomfortable when the conversation changed to Hyunwoo, and no, it was not Kihyun fawning over Hyunwoo. It was Kihyun mentioning the things he did not like about Hyunwoo. Sure, every couple had things they disliked about each other, but Hoseok was not the person that should hear about this. 

Hoseok determined that Kihyun was definitely far too drunk to be in this place any longer. 

“Alrighty then, Kihyunie,” Hoseok stood up from his bar stool. 

Kihyun giggled looking at him, “what?”

“Let's go home,” Hoseok helped him up, but Kihyun did not have control of his legs, so he tripped and grabbed on to Hoseok by his shoulders. Hoseok steadied him by grabbing onto his hips. 

“Woah, Hoseokkie,” Kihyun looked at him with a lopsided smile, “what are you doing?”

Hoseok was blushing. He knew it. He grumbled and looked away, “nothing.” He cleared his throat and tried to calm down, “I'm taking you home. Do you have your keys?”

“Yes, sir,” Kihyun nodded various times. He took his hands off Hoseok's shoulders and patted his pockets. “Oops,” he giggled, “never mind. I think I left them in Hyunwoo's car.”

“Oh, boy,” Hoseok sighed. Now what? He could not call Hyunwoo, because Hyunwoo was busy with work, but he could not leave Kihyun here either. He could only think of one option. “I'll take you to my home then.”

Kihyun hummed and nodded. “Why?” He then asked. 

“Because you left your keys in Hyunwoo's car,” Hoseok said, guiding Kihyun to the front door while sending Hyunwoo a text about the change of plans. 

“Ah, that's right. I said that,” Kihyun nodded. He sighed, “Hyunwoo is always working…”

“Let's go,” Hoseok pulled him closer before he started another Hyunwoo rant. 

Hoseok always did try to be a safe driver and follow the rules of the road. The worst thing he did was drive a little above the speed limit. Last time he drove with alcohol in his system was when he was a dumbass freshman in college and it was only down a street. 

This time, Hoseok drove way below the speed limit, low enough to probably be illegal, too. He did not want to cause a car accident. He did not want to harm Kihyun in that way. A ten minute ride turned into a half an hour ride, but at least Kihyun enjoyed it every step of the way. He sang to every song on the radio even when he did not know it. Hoseok doubted he would ever forget this memory. 

When he was not singing (in the radio commercial breaks; that was, if he did not try to sing that, too), he was ranting. Ranting about street lights, car windows, alley ways, ads, horrible food combinations, the time a cat he used to own stepped all over a pizza he was looking forward to eating, Hyunwoo's job yet again. Hoseok did not know how he was about to handle it, but he was, happily. 

By the time Hoseok reached his apartment, Kihyun had reduced his speaking to an unintelligible blubbering mess in which he was probably repeating what he had ranted about on the way up. Hoseok clumsily opened the door without dropping Kihyun, who was leaning against him, thank goodness. He was the proud renter of a one bedroom apartment and tonight, Kihyun was going to sleep on that one bedroom because he was a gracious host and the couch was actually almost as comfortable as the bed.

Hoseok made a beeline to the bedroom once he closed the door because, although he boasted on being stronger than the average man, walking three flights of steep stairs with a body leaning against him was bound to tire even the strongest man. He walked to the bed and as he was about to set Kihyun down on the bed, he must have tripped over something - his own feet, maybe clothes on the floor he had yet to pick up, something - and he ended up dropping Kihyun on the bed. Kihyun grabbed his wrist, causing Hoseok to plant his hands on both side of Kihyun to make sure he did not fall on top of the younger male. 

"Woah, what are you trying to do, Hoseokkie?" Kihyun looked at Hoseok with a raised eyebrow and teasing half-smile adorning his lips, as if he was not the reason they were in that position. 

Hoseok looked at him and froze, shocked at how close he was to Kihyun's face. He could faintly feel his breathing. "Ah," Hoseok could only say. He should not be this close. This was wrong. "I'm sorry," Kihyun was a drunk man and, more importantly, a taken one. Hoseok made an attempt to move away from him but Kihyun grabbed his arms, holding him firmly in place. 

"No," Kihyun said softly, "stay." 

He should not. He knew it was a bad idea to stay the way they were right now, but Hoseok could not say no to Kihyun. He could not move away from the gaze Kihyun threw his way. "Hoseok..." Kihyun looked at Hoseok. His eyes moved to look at all of Hoseok's facets and it made Hoseok gulped.

"Y-yes?" He said in a voice weaker than intended. 

"Hoseokie," Kihyun tilted his head to the side. "Do you like me?" 

Hoseok's breath hitched on his throat. _Yes, so fucking much, but you shouldn't know that._ He took a deep, shaky breath. "What makes you ask that?" He answered instead. He hoped his breath hitching would not give anything away, but he doubted that. Something must have been noticeable if Kihyun asked him that. Damn it, Hoseok was not careful enough.

Kihyun took a deep breath. "I don't know," he breathed out. "I've been wondering for some time now. I think I can see it."

Hoseok hummed, trying hard to not freak out. "You can?" He tried to sound casual, but he sounded rightfully nervous.

Kihyun nodded, humming back. "I can," he said in a low voice, and Hoseok just realized how close they had become.

While they were having this conversation, Hoseok had not felt the sensation of Kihyun's fingers crawling their way up to Hoseok's shoulders. He had not bothered registering Kihyun's hands wrapping around his neck and had not bothered to note how Kihyun was pulling himself up and how he, unconsciously maybe, had lowered himself closer to Kihyun. 

Kihyun's breathing had clouded his rationality and common sense better than any alcohol ever would. There was still that part of his brain sounding the alarm of danger, but Hoseok was more interested in how Kihyun was looking at him with a sleepy smile and half-lidded eyes. 

"Kihyun," Hoseok said softly in a half assed attempt to maybe stop their position, but really, it probably added coal to the fire. 

"Yes?" Kihyun said as he pulled Hoseok closer, their noses touched. Hoseok could not breathe. 

Hoseok opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he was cut short by Kihyun's lips connecting with his. He gasped, his mind finally short-circuiting and his heart beat resounding loudly in his ear. 

It did not take long for Hoseok to realize that this was not a dream. That Kihyun, the guy he had been pinning on for maybe about a year, was kissing him, had his arms fully wrapped around Hoseok's neck with a hand planted firmly on the nape of his neck to keep him there. This was real. This was what Hoseok wanted. He could not help but be overtaken with the desire to kiss Kihyun back. 

So he did.

He closed his eyes and moved his lips with Kihyun's. He wrapped his arms around Kihyun's body with one hand mirroring Kihyun's by planting it on Kihyun's nape and moved his own legs to the bed to each side of Kihyun to be more comfortable. 

Yes, oh yes, kissing Kihyun was everything Hoseok hoped it would be and so much more. His heart bursted with nerves but also with absolute happiness and love for Kihyun. Kihyun's moans and mewling were everything to Hoseok's ears. Hoseok wrapped Kihyun closer, feeling how his body fitted with Hoseok perfectly and yet it did not feel like enough for Hoseok and maybe not for Kihyun either as he had started tugging the collar of Hoseok's shirt, the shirt Hyunwoo had gifted him for his birthday -

Hyunwoo.

Hoseok's eyes flew wide open. Oh no, that was right. Kihyun was still taken. He was still dating Hyunwoo. He was still Hyunwoo's boyfriend, and Hoseok had no right to be touching and kissing him like this and almost letting him take off his shirt, especially when he was _drunk._

Hoseok pulled away from Kihyun. "No!" He said loudly. "No, I can't," he said more softly. 

Kihyun fell on the bed and hit the mattress like a kid on the beginning stages of a tantrum, "oh, why?" He pouted, glaring at Hoseok. 

"I can't," he said again softly, quietly, painfully, because he did want to do it again so badly.

Kihyun pouted and glared at him for a few more seconds. Then, the supposed anger was gone. "Okay," Kihyun shrugged, and Hoseok had to fight being disappointed at Kihyun not insisting.

Hoseok sighed, "I'll go now. I'm sleeping on the couch." He made a move to move away from Kihyun. 

Kihyun held him back again, "no." He pushed Hoseok to the empty side of the bed, "this is your bed. Stay a while."

Kihyun smiled at him softly, and Hoseok again was weak, "okay." He gently moved to the other side of the bed and laid down, facing Kihyun.

Looking at Kihyun now, with his red, swollen lips, and knowing that he was the cause of it sparked a terrible fire of guilt inside of Hoseok. He had just kissed his best friend's boyfriend. He had just broken his best friend's trust. He had broken Kihyun's trust! He took advantage of Kihyun while he was drunk! What was wrong with him?

Kihyun tapped Hoseok's cheek, "you're so handsome, Hoseokie."

Hoseok gulped, "r-really?"

Kihyun nodded, "I noticed it from the moment I first saw you." His finger poking Hoseok's cheek turned into his hand resting on Hoseok's cheek. Hoseok did not want to push it away. "I thought, wow, Hyunwoo had told me you were good looking but this is beyond what I had expected, and then I got to know you more and I realized that you were more than just a pretty face and I thought that was amazing. You still are... So amazing." He paused to smile at Hoseok, and Hoseok gulped, not liking where this was heading. Kihyun sighed, his smile dropping a little, "I still love Hyunwoo, and I love being with him, but I can't help but sometimes think about what it would be like to be with you instead. Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to kiss you? Just once? I don't know why."

"Kihyun," Hoseok put his hand on top of Kihyun's on his cheek. This whole conversation was hurting him, and he wanted it to stop, but he wanted it to continue, too.

"I think I would love you a lot, too, so much. I think we really would be an amazing couple, don't you think?" Kihyun cruelly asked, and Hoseok could only nod, because he agreed and wanted to cry because of it, because he should not be going along with this, because he should not be feeling this way.

Kihyun laughed softly - maybe bitterly, maybe that was what Hoseok wanted it to be - and gently pulled his hand away from Hoseok's face. "Maybe later, maybe if we had met first, maybe in another time, in another life," Kihyun cozied himself up, resting his hands under his pillow as sleep started to overtake him. "Maybe then we could be together, don't you think?" 

Hoseok did not answer him. Kihyun fell asleep, so it would not have mattered if an answer was said or not. "You're so cruel, Kihyun," Hoseok said after a few seconds of staring at Kihyun's features. "How do you expect me to recover from that?" Hoseok blinked away stray tears as he sat up. No, Hoseok could not cry over this. No matter how overwhelmed he was. He could not even be in the same room as Kihyun right now. His heart could not take it, so he quietly stood up and left the room, later falling face-first on the couch. His heart and mind mixing and burning with guilt and love and Kihyun's words. He could not believe what he had just heard, what Kihyun had just told him. 

No person should be told that. Hoseok did not need to know that Kihyun kind of felt strongly for him but not as strong as Hoseok felt for him. Hoseok did not need to know that they were an almost, a could-have-been if circumstances had been different.

Hoseok now let his tears fall freely, but he did not cry, and he fell asleep on the cushions soaked with his tears.

Hoseok woke up the next day with the same feelings as yesterday and bad neck pain. A comfortable as the couch could be, nothing was comfortable if slept wrong on. The apartment was awfully quiet. All the muted noise came from the activity in the outside world, and it was normally like that, but Hoseok was not alone in the apartment and the sun was already shining brightly, meaning it had to at least be late morning. Kihyun was normally awake before this time, and it seemed like he was not. 

He must have left, Hoseok immediately thought. He woke up, remembered what Hoseok did to him last night, and bolted out of here never looking back. He was going to tell Hyunwoo and Hyunwoo would come here and punch the hell out of Hoseok. Then, Hyunwoo and Kihyun would leave Hoseok suffering on the ground and walk away hand-in-hand. That was going to be Hoseok’s last image of them as they walked into the light because Hoseok did not have enough visual imagination to imagine a background for them to walk into. 

Okay, so maybe Hoseok was exaggerating. Kihyun was wasted last night. There was no way he could bolt out of here with the massive headache he must have woken up with. Maybe Kihyun was still here, on Hoseok’s bed complaining of a headache and quietly cursing out Hoseok’s name. Hoseok sighed. He needed to accept it. He fucked up and lost his two best friends. 

Hoseok reached for his phone and opened it. It still had battery, surprisingly, but it was on red, and there was a message from Hyunwoo. It was probably the first of many cursing Hoseok out. Hoseok was going to die, and he accepted it. He braced himself for all the mean messages and opened the text. 

Oh… it was just Hyunwoo thanking him once again and saying how he would show up at around noon to pick Kihyun up. 

Okay, so Kihyun had not bolted out of here yet, and if he had, he had not reached Hyunwoo’s place. It was more probable that he was still in the bedroom though, simmering and brooding with anger. Hoseok might as well make peace with him before Hyunwoo picked him up. He would hate to end his friendship with Kihyun in too bad of a note. 

Hoseok stood up from the couch stretched. He hissed. He was also hurting physically. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and pain relievers. Maybe he will get down on his knees and offer these to Kihyun in exchange for forgiveness. Hoseok would get down in his knees if it meant Kihyun’s forgiveness. 

Hoseok slowly walked to bedroom, dreading confrontation, and quietly tried to open the normally noisy door. The bedroom was quiet, too. Kihyun was still sleeping. His body was still covered in blankets. All Hoseok could see was his messy hair and the top half of his face. 

Hoseok sighed in relief and walked closer to the bed. He set the water and pain relievers on the nightstand and looked at a sleeping Kihyun. He still looked like he was in a deep sleep. Hoseok chuckled, all his worries leaving him temporarily. It seemed alcohol was the only thing that deterred Kihyun from being an early bird. 

Hoseok sighed sadly. Kihyun looked so cute wrapped in his blankets and laying in his bed, and Hoseok could not appreciate it as much as he wanted to because Kihyun was not his. Hoseok took a step closer to the bed and gently ran his fingers through Kihyun’s hair. He would allow himself to do just this. Kihyun shifted a little and Hoseok quickly pulled his hand away, fearing he had been caught. Kihyun did not wake up though, but the blanket fell a little, revealing the rest of his face. Hoseok’s eyes fell on Kihyun’s parted lips. They were barely swollen now. It was barely noticeable, and that was a good thing. No one would question them. Though Hoseok did which he could swell them up again. 

Hoseok breathed out and walked to the bathroom. He needed to take a shower and clear his head. Kihyun was still going to wake up. He was still going to confront Hoseok. Hoseok needed to prepare for that again. 

To his surprise, Kihyun was awake by the time Hoseok came out of the shower (wow, was he glad he decided to take his clothes to the bathroom). The back of his head was leaning against the the bed’s headboard. He was cradling the glass of water Hoseok had left him. He turned his head, alarmed and scared, when he heard the bathroom door opening, and Hoseok was sure it was because of what happened last night. However, when Kihyun found Hoseok, he visibly relaxed, and Hoseok was confused.

“Oh, Hoseok, good morning,” Kihyun smiled softly. Hoseok nodded slowly. “Oh thank goodness,” Kihyun looked at the glass of water, “I had no clue where I was. I was scared I did something stupid last night.” Hoseok blinked. Wait… “Is this your place?” Kihyun looked around, and Hoseok nodded. “Seems cozy. How’d I end up here?” He tilted his head. 

He asked that again, and something clicked on Hoseok’s mind. Kihyun was wasted last night, dead drunk, blackout drunk. “You don’t remember last night, don’t you?” Hoseok asked him.

Kihyun shook his head, “the beginning, vaguely. It gets weird in the middle and nothing by the end.” He looked at Hoseok with a serious expression, “I didn’t do anything stupid, right?” 

Well, that was relieving - in a way. Hoseok grinned, nodded, “yes, you didn’t do anything stupid last night.” Sure, Hoseok qualified kissing as stupid but if Kihyun did not remember, then it did not happen, and Hoseok should not feel a tinge of disappointment by that. He knew it was better for Kihyun to be ignorant than to remember and ruin their friendship. 

“Ah, that’s relieving,” Kihyun breathed out and leaned against the headboard. “Where’s Hyunwoo though? Why am I here?” 

Kihyun did not mean it in a bad way, but Hoseok still hurt over Kihyun asking about Hyunwoo. “He had a work emergency last night, so I was put in charge off you,” Hoseok laughed a little, “you didn’t have your keys, so I just took you here. Hyunwoo will be coming by later to pick you up. He says he’s sorry he had to leave early.”

Kihyun sighed and looked down. “Of course,” he muttered quietly, but Hoseok was able to hear him, and he remembered all the complains Kihyun had last night. Kihyun looked up at Hoseok again with a fake smile, “at least, you take good care of me.” 

Hoseok gulped and nodded as an answer. He wondered if that statement had a double meaning to it. Kihyun did not remember last night, so Kihyun might just be talking about taking care of him last night in specific. Hoseok needed to stop thinking this. He needed to change the subject. “So, how are you feeling? Headache?” Hoseok tapped the side of the head. 

Kihyun groaned, “not good, but still fine. Thank you for the pain relievers. I think they’re starting to take effect.” 

Hoseok smiled, “that’s good. Maybe breakfast will make you feel better, too. I’ll go make some now. You’re welcome to come or stay here, whichever.” He hoped he sounded nonchalant and not awkward in any way. 

Kihyun nodded, “I’ll join you. Just give me a few seconds.” He laid back down on the bed and brought the blankets near his face, closing his eyes. 

Hoseok chuckled and left the bedroom to the kitchen, wondering what he should make. Eggs tended to help him with hangovers, so maybe they will help Kihyun, too. Hoseok took out a pan and got to work. Ten minutes or so later, Kihyun joined him in the kitchen, but he did not offer to help. He said he would have, if his headache was more bearable, but it was not. Unless Hoseok needed the help, then Kihyun would suck it up and help. Hoseok stopped him, saying that he did not need any help and to wait for him at a barstool by the bar counter of the kitchen. 

Kihyun complied and waited at a bar stool. He initiated small talk, mostly just asking what had happened last night. 

Nothing too important, Hoseok answered along the lines of. Kihyun was not satisfied with the answer, but Hoseok did not budge. 

Hoseok smiled as he set the plates on the bar and sat next to Kihyun. Kihyun thanked him for the meal, and Hoseok brushed it off. They ate in silence. Kihyun ate peacefully, ignorant that anything really happened last night. Hoseok really felt guilty about it. He took advantage of Kihyun, and Kihyun did not even remember. In a way, that was good for Hoseok, but Kihyun deserved to know. Hoseok could not even bring himself to confess. What a bad person he was. 

Kihyun set his utensils down half way through his meal. His eyebrows were knitted together as he looked down to his plate. Hoseok was going to ask him what was wrong, but Kihyun beat him to the punch. “Are you sure,” he paused and looked at Hoseok, “that nothing ever happened last night?”

Hoseok’s breathing hitched. He nodded hesitantly, “y-yes. Why do you ask?” 

Kihyun shook his head, “I don’t know. I just feel weird.” 

Hoseok frowned. Ah, there went the guilt again. This honestly sucked. He opened his mouth to try to change the subject when a knock at his door was heard. Hoseok and Kihyun stared at the door until another set of knocks was heard. “That must be Hyunwoo,” Hoseok commented and stood up. 

Kihyun smiled. “He’s here,” he said simply and Hoseok just nodded at the statement and went to open the door. 

It was Hyunwoo. 

“Hey, Hyunwoo,” Hoseok put on a smile. 

Hyunwoo looked at him and smiled back, “Hoseok, hi.” 

Hoseok moved to the side and let Hyunwoo in before closing the door. Hyunwoo looked around until he saw Kihyun, and Kihyun stood up from the barstool and walked to his boyfriend, giving him a tight hug, “hey you, I missed you.” 

Hyunwoo wrapped his arms around Kihyun and smiled, “I missed you, too.”

And Hoseok stood by the front door, feeling as guilty as he had never felt before, because all he could think of was about the way his arms wrapped about Kihyun last night. 

Hyunwoo separated himself from Kihyun and gently grabbed the latter’s cheeks, “so what were you doing right now?”

“Eating breakfast,” Kihyun answered and shook his head, “don’t try and kiss me now. I am pretty sure I taste like shit.”

Hyunwoo chuckled and patted Kihyun’s cheek and looked at him with so much love, and Hoseok sighed because he should not have done what he had done. “You’re eating Hoseok’s cooking? Is it up to your standards?” 

Kihyun scoffed, “anyone can boil an egg. Except for Minhyuk or Hyungwon or Jooheon, maybe Changkyun, but you know what I mean.”

Hoseok laughed, “wow, what an honor to be included amongst the egg makers.”

Kihyun looked at Hoseok. Hyunwoo’s hands were still on his cheeks. Hoseok wished they were not. “Well, considering our group of friends, it’s not that hard.”

Hoseok shrugged, “any title can be a good title.”

Kihyun pointed at him, “I can debate that but I will choose not to.” 

Hoseok shrugged and started to walk to the kitchen back to where his meal was. Hyunwoo dropped his hands from Kihyun’s face and did not attempt to get any closer to him. Hoseok appreciated them not being a PDA couple at least. “Finish eating, and I’ll take you home if you want to,” Hyunwoo told Kihyun, “you must be exhausted.”

Kihyun laughed and shook his head, looking up. “You have no idea. I just want to take a shower and lay in bed all day,” he said as he walked to the barstool he had been sitting on and sat on it again to finish eating his egg. Hoseok was sitting next to him, and Hyunwoo stood on the other side. Hoseok offered him a chair, but he refused, saying that he was fine. 

“Really, Hoseok, I want to thank you again for taking care of Kihyunnie last night,” Hyunwoo said as he placed a hand on Kihyun’s shoulder. “I was worried about leaving him last night, but I should have known he would have been fine with you.”

Kihyun glared at him, without scorn, “you talk as if I was a child.”

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Hyunwoo pinched his cheek. 

Hoseok shook his head, dismissing the thanks again, “really, you shouldn’t thank me.” _I did something horrible last night. I don’t deserve to be thanked._ “Kihyun is one of my best friends. How could I not take care of him?”

Hyunwoo smiled, “alright, alright, I guess so. He didn’t cause any trouble last night, did he?”

Hoseok shook his head, laughing and still guilty. Yes, there was trouble, “no, he didn’t.”

Kihyun glared at Hyunwoo again, his mouth stuffed with egg, “why would I cause trouble?”

Hyunwoo laughed and Hoseok smiled. Kihyun could make talking with your mouth full sound cute. “You know you get brutally honest when drunk. You have no filter, and you might end up telling someone what you believe about them but never wanted to say out loud.”

If Hoseok was ever doubting what Kihyun told him last night, he now was not. It caused him to choke on his eggs. Kihyun came to his rescue by holding his shoulder and patting his back while Hyunwoo looked attentively from where he was. “Woah, Hoseok, are you okay?” Kihyun asked once Hoseok stopped coughing. 

Hoseok nodded slowly and looked up at Kihyun’s worried face. Kihyun talked about how he felt about Hoseok last night. All were true feelings that he would never admit to anyone. Hoseok could not breathe. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said in a raspy voice. 

Kihyun nodded back and sat back down, “that’s a relief.” Hyunwoo agreed. All Hoseok could think of was last night. All of Kihyun’s words, his actions, were genuine, kind of. He was still drunk, but it was what he had wanted to do. Hoseok still felt guilty. Even if that was what sober Kihyun thought of doing, he never acted on it for good reason. Overcome with desire, Hoseok helped him accomplish one of the things he wanted to do with Hoseok. The trust was still broken. Hoseok doubted Kihun will forget forever. His memory had to come back eventually, and then Hoseok would face the consequences of his actions. 

“Normally, Kihyun’s drunk endeavours have a funny story in them. There was nothing this time? That’s an improvement,” Hyunwoo looked at Kihyun.

Kihyun elbowed him playfully, “I hate you.”

“Nothing this time,” Hoseok shook his head. “Though I did learn some interesting facts,” he was playing with fire here. What was he doing?

Kihyun’s eyes widened, “oh dear, what did I say?” 

Hoseok shook his head, “nothing too important unfortunately. If I knew you were an honest drunk, I would have asked you so many questions about everyone.” 

Kihyun scoffed, “to what? Hurt someone? No, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t hurt anyone, not even a fly.”

I hurt you. “You don’t know that,” Hoseok grinned jokingly, “wanna come drinking tonight and find out?” _Please, say no. This is just a joke - or maybe say yes, I want to know what I am to you, but maybe I shouldn't find out -_

Kihyun shook his head, “I am fine. Thank you.” They all chuckled, and the conversation kept going in different directions. Eventually, it was time for Kihyun and Hyunwoo to leave. Kihyun hugged Hoseok goodbye, and Hoseok’s mind was replaying last night’s embrace. Oh, he was a horrible person. Hyunwoo then hugged him goodbye and said that he had no way to repay Hoseok and that he trusted Hoseok to do the same if this situation happened again. Hoseok wished Hyunwoo did not trust him so much. 

Hoseok was then left to an empty apartment and his thoughts. He spent the day recalling his conversation with Kihyun on the way to the apartment and on the bed. Kihyun had thought of them being together. He had said maybe - maybe in another time, life, future, something. Kihyun had wanted to kiss him, too, so, so badly, probably as badly as Hoseok had wanted to kiss him. 

Was there hope? Could Kihyun possibly actually like him? There was no way of finding out. Hoseok was not going to ask him. Kihyun was still with Hyunwoo, and that was that. But still, the slightest possibility that something could happen, that Kihyun was actually looking at him back, it filled Hoseok’s stomach up with butterflies. A small possibility - Kihyun had had a lot to complain about Hyunwoo, small things but things nonetheless. Hoseok hated to be hopeful, but he could not help it. 

Hoseok went to sleep that night, and he dreamed of a day, later in the future maybe, where Kihyun showed up at his door, remember exactly what had happened that night, and not being angry about it but yearning for more, and there would be no repercussions because maybe, by that time, Kihyun was fed up with all the little things he did not like about Hyunwoo and had broken up with him, and Hoseok would finally be able to hold Kihyun like he wanted to hold Kihyun. He would finally be able to kiss Kihyun like he had done before and not feel so guilty about it. Hoseok would be able to love Kihyun openly and shower him with the love he had drunkenly admitted to secretly enjoy, and they would be beautiful, so beautiful.

Hoseok woke up the next day with the biggest smile on his face, but it quickly left his face when he felt his heart selfishly hope for the day Kihyun and Hyunwoo would break up.

**Author's Note:**

> Dream scenario: And then Hoseok's dream comes true and Kihyun comes back to him saying that he remembers and he can't stop thinking about it and then he breaks up with Hyunwoo and then they get together and Hyunwoo finds out eventually and lives with it and then one day Minhyuk invites them all over for a free drinks and everyone gets a little drunk and then Minhyuk asks Kihyun the question that has been on everyone's mind. 
> 
> “So…… who's better in bed, Hoseok or Hyunwoo???” *insert eye emojis*
> 
> THE END. 
> 
> Lmao, I wanted to finish another fanfic by the end of the year and I was able to. Yay!
> 
> Believe or not, this fic idea came to me when I was listening to Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield lmao. I finally started writing it when I listen to Tarde (Sin Daños al Tercero) by Ricardo Arjona, which talks about to people who met and fell in love too late since they already had partners and such. I suggest looking an eng sub version of it and giving it a listen since the lyrics are very interesting. 
> 
> Happy holidays and happy New Year, everybody! :))))
> 
> I can't seem to stray off of sad stories. Eventually, one day! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this story and I hope you've enjoyed it very much! See you next year!
> 
> (I uploaded using my phone. Please tell me if there is an error. Thanks! ;3 )


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